well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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