you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
