I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
