so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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