i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
