my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
