they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
