I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
