do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
