You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There's even glitter on my cock...
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