Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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