I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize