I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
