honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
