Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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