I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well you can't waste a boner
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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