I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize