8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize