ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Alive.
So much puke
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
