Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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