Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
