i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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