You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
