suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
