i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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