the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize