Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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