mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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