my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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