We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
