So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
