burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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