That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
