I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thus making me awesome and them whores
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
