I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
