oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
