Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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