I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
