She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
