Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
