I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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