You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
