I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize