you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
