Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
youre lurking in front of me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
