We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
