she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
