Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
