I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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