Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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