I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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