I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
