i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
