u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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