Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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