Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
