I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
