even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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