Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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