I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize