I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
