Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
