just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
