just come out here and I will go home with you...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you never un-have a 4some
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
