I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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