youre lurking in front of me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Be still, my beating vagina.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
