we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
