Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
