So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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