I think I just saw someone hide a body.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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