If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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