I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
