was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
