Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
