I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning