Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
