White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him