you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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