I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
