I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?